Wait for an Answer

The past week has basically sucked, spiritually. My faith has been tested and found desperately wanting. And yet, this is still not the end. I guess you could say that the figurative wrecking ball that's been taken to my façade was a necessary thing. In other words, I'm disillusioned.

The downside of this, of course, is that I'm confused, and I question my legitimacy, as I've established in recent posts. But one thing that, in my right mind, I always have to admit is that God is there, and He knows and loves me, just like He knows and loves everyone else. Since that much is the case, I have to acknowledge that He also knows how to shine a light on all of my deceptions and reveal truth to me. Anything I experience while I seek Him is not only allowed, but perfectly orchestrated to draw me close to Him in a true relationship.

I have doubts and fears. I'm tempted to go astray. I don't know what to expect or how long this uneasy phase will last. But I can't turn away from my faith, and as such, I know and believe God won't abandon me. This is a storm; a test of my resolve as a follower of Christ. There isn't an end in sight for me, but I know I will have relief sooner or later. Once this crucible has purified and strengthened my faith, I have to believe that God will see me through it, one way or another.

Still I wait.