Up & Up

When I look at my life, it's well within my nature and tendency to compare it to those of other people. I'll then ask myself questions like, "Why is this person so much better at this thing than I am?" and, "Why don't I fit in like that person?" and most commonly, "Why can't I just be happy, like all these people?" Now, let's just keep off the subject of why I shouldn't be comparing myself to other people. That's a huge problem, in fact one of my biggest, but that's not the point of this post.

As I've established in a previous post, I've allowed my life to become what it is over a long period of time, and it will take some time and effort on my part for it to make a comeback. Apart from not being too hard on myself for when I screw up, I need to be taking baby steps, not trying to fix everything all at once.

For a more Biblical perspective, I like to compare the situation to the Parable of the Talents. Specifically in the verses where it speaks of the rewards for the servants who invested. They were given small amounts to work with, and they put those amounts to work. In the end, they were awarded more to work with in the future.

I think that all things sort of work out that way. When you work with what you're given, you will see a return and then be awarded more. In my case, it seems to directly apply to responsibilities and personal potential. For years I've had responsibilities that I've neglected, or at best scraped by on bare minimum. I've also not used my abilities to their full potential, ergo they have not been stretched. As a result, no additional abilities or responsibilities have been awarded. In fact, like the lazy servant, my unused assets have, in a sense, atrophied. Now I have to work harder to gain back what I lost.

So what's the solution? It's simple: start small. Last post I mused on my lack of motivation and difficulty doing even the most basic of things. But I know that if I simply make a decision to do these mundane tasks, do them repeatedly, make a habit of doing them, my efforts will be rewarded. Those tasks will become easier over time, and I'll find myself more inspired to take on greater things.