Laying the Demon to Rest

Or, "This Pain, in Retrospect".

It bothers me that I still become extremely depressed about what seems fairly innocuous, or about nothing at all. But even I have to acknowledge the fact that the sudden plunge into the darkness a couple of days ago was nowhere near as bad as it has been in the past, and that it also didn't last as long. I also have to remind myself of the principle that, even though changes are being made in my life, changes that will work toward long-term healing, with a history like mine it will be far from an overnight process.

Ultimately, I have to see this condition as a thorn in my flesh, constantly reminding me to trust God first, and to not put so much stock in the mercurial things of this world. I know and believe He will see me though this; I just have to actively trust Him.

As far as my selfishness, pride, and perceived need for recognition are concerned, I could probably write a book. I know this is part of the human condition, and ultimately what separates us from God. Selfishness is the root of all sin, and the true opposite of love. When our pride gets involved, we lose our ability to be truly loving, because our every thought and action becomes egocentric.

I'll discontinue there, because there's too much to be said about human pride.

My prayer, now and always, is that I can be consistently able to trust God, and that He will reveal Himself and humble me.