[Foreword: As a word of caution, this one is controversial, even as I read it back to myself. In fact, I feel inclined to pray Psalm 139:23-24 as I reflect on it. Please, view at your discretion.]
I've felt weird for the past few days. Detached. Not in most areas of my life, but specifically at church, and among that social group. I don't like this condition, because it feels like I'm in a state of unrest with my faith. But it's not really that, I don't think. I've still been pretty good about my time spent intentionally with God, and the positive changes are still pretty apparent in the way I've been acting and living life. I still feel like He's moving in me. But my issues seem to be specifically with some of the church.
I first really noticed it on Sunday, when I went to the morning service. I didn't much feel like socializing with my friends, even though ministry commitments keep me from sitting with them half of the time. But as I've thought about it since then, I've realized that even college group hasn't been very appealing to me lately. So although I have had other responsibilities keeping me from going, I haven't been very upset about that, I guess because I haven't really felt much like going anyway. That's a bummer, because up until now these things have been the highlights of my week.
The cause is something that I've noticed about myself: that I find certain tendencies of some of the people within the church to be particularly annoying. For instance, the apparent disinclination to talk about anything secular, just casually. Like God would smite us wicked heathens for mentioning anything that isn't in the Bible. Or the stereotypical conservative bent of the church, manifesting as snarky comments about the left side of the political spectrum, as though you can't be a Christian if you don't vote Republican. Or the always-chipper appearance, real or not, that so often seems to ignore the brokenness of each individual even within the church body. These things might seem petty, and I feel like I'm rebellious and sinful for even being irritated about them, but just being honest, they've been irksome to me for a while.
I guess it bothers me because it feels misguidedly pious, and honestly a bit fake. If all the words that ever come out of our mouths are spoken in Christianese, then how the hell is the rest of the human race supposed to relate to us? How can we extend hands toward the unbelieving world if we're so busy building up sterile walls of holy chatter that estrange the people we're supposed to be guiding?
Things like this make me think of my life before I was following Christ, and how I would have reacted to some of the things that are said in this circle. If all anyone had ever said to me beforehand was spoken in this alienating, holy speech, I would have inwardly thought about how brainwashed they are. It would have acted as a deterrent to me more than anything else.
I think the way to win people's hearts to Christ is through being lovingly relatable. If you just go and attack an unsaved stranger with Bible verses, it's no better than standing on a street corner, shouting about how everyone else is going to Hell. We can't just start off by making people feel uncomfortable. Christianity is relational. The joy and discomfort of following Christ has to be each person's choice, and the only way they'll want to make that choice is if a relationship is built first. That means that we have to be able to meet them, to some extent, in their own territory.
Since the journey truly begins at that point, ignorance of the inevitable pitfalls that follow indicates neglect of the necessary continuation of the relationship between people within the church. People still struggle with their sins, even after being saved, and yet too often I get the impression that members of the church body see salvation as a trophy rather than a lifestyle. That only serves to push struggling Christians into a faith crisis as they begin to doubt their own sincerity in their beliefs and convictions.
These are issues worth feeling bothered by and indicative of where the body we belong to should improve.
ReplyDeleteOur local church is generally quite conservative in politics and theology. Our interactions are frequently coated with a layer of polite formality. Our college group specifically contains many passionate nerds for Christian teaching, music, and church community. I don't think this is inherently bad - it is a (mini) culture, however bland it may seem - yet it certainly does become a problem when we alienate rather than incarnate.
Jesus was wise in how he related to others of various ethnic and political groups. He expressed genuine emotion towards brokenness, and even said we should mourn with those who mourn. Jesus also communicated through simple parables and analogies (though sometimes they took some effort to grasp, they contained meaning mindful of what those in the audience were familiar with).
Sean, if you have already been praying out of that Psalm and haven't felt convicted that there is something wrong at the root of your irritation, I think you should focus more on how you respond to these flaws and your discomfort from then. You could speak directly to a trustworthy leader about how these issues might be addressed, or you can participate in discussions in a way that would push your brothers and sisters towards using clearer language and a more engaged stance with the world we're still living in. The upcoming sermon is on Romans 6, which is one of the most notable discourses on the continued struggle against sin as we are gradually made to be more like Christ, so I'd also encourage you to do some reading on that in advance.
Christ's Bride, messy and confusing as she in many ways and at many times is, needs the Loving reproof you've been entrusted with... and she just needs you.