Several long months have passed since I made the decision to actively follow Christ, as opposed to the lukewarm Christian-labeled disgrace I'd been for most of my life. I've had many questions, and a few answers here and there. But widely speaking, I haven't really experienced the peace and joy I've always heard about the active pursuit of Christ. Or maybe I have, but I might have a warped perception of what that should be. And just because it's me, my natural assumption is that I'm doing something wrong. Some behavior, some attitude, some motive is just out of place.
I think a big part of this comes from essentially trying to split myself; to "keep a foot in each world", so to speak. My thought is always that balance is key, in pretty much everything. In finance, time management, politics, you name it. But is that right in this situation?
The case in point is a recent discovery. It's come to my attention that a huge part of my life for years has been the nature of my close friendships. More specifically, the nature of the friends themselves. Now, I certainly can't blame them for the decisions I've wrecked my life with time and time again. But I also can't deny that they've influenced me and my way of thinking, which has had a long-term effect on my decision making ability. In other words, you are who you hang out with. More bitingly toward said friends, there's Proverbs 13:20.
Now comes the rub. Though I know the principle and wisdom set forth in that proverb and others like it, I also know of a couple other things. One, chiefly, is that Jesus pretty much hung out with the dregs of the populace. I mean, you see it again and again in the general silliness of the apostles, from each of the their humble beginnings (basically hillbillies and crooks), to the various ways that they lied, betrayed, and doubted Jesus toward the end of His ministry on Earth. Yet through all this, Jesus kept them around, and even equipped them to continue His work when His time came to leave. Should I not be doing the same, with even the cases that seem hopeless, such as my unbelieving friends?
The other thing is that it goes against everything I feel is right, to just give up on my friends. I feel like they're a big part of my ministry. They're the crowd that I come from, and so to give up on them feels a lot like giving up on myself. God put key people in my life to rescue me from my old ways, and I don't want to just say "to Hell with those still caught up in them." In a sense, I guess I feel like God also put me in a position of accountability, to guide them out of that empty, egocentric lifestyle, and back to Him. I can acknowledge that sometimes a friendship runs its course and reaches its end, and so it may not be me that guides them out of the proverbial desert, but… I dunno, maybe it's just hard for me to actually accept that.
This isn't a confident judgment over what you wrote, but I do wonder if you might need to "balance" your balancing mindset. That is, there are going to be a lot of cases where avoiding extremes and acknowledging two sides is very helpful for imitating Christ, but still other places where (though doubts will cling to your mind) you are called to submit your whole heart.
ReplyDeleteI like your reflections on friendships, and I agree this is a concept which should be balanced. Jesus did recruit quite a band of misfits.That said, as messy as the Apostles were, they were repentant and in an intentional posture to learn from Christ.
Similarly, Jesus indeed ate with the unrighteous rejects of society, and I don't think we can overemphasize just how telling that is of mercy in God's kingdom, since entering a home and eating together had so much more depth and significance in that culture than ours. So Jesus was genuinely expressing Love and offering relationship to sinners (accepting them as they were), but He also delivered a message to repent and follow Him (not leaving them there). He might not have ate with them again if they wanted His Love, but stubbornly rejected His invitation.
So, what do I think this means in practice? Continue loving and showing Christ to your unbelieving friends, even as they reject Him, but balance that by A) prioritizing friendship with fellow believers, and B) remaining watchful for opportunities to display Christ in more receptive relationships. I see no need for giving up on them... yet if they will not hear your verbal and non-verbal message, you can prayerfully make a case-by-case judgment call when helping them conflicts with your own part encouraging and being encouraged in the Church, or a supporting potential disciple who demonstrates active willingness.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2013:35